I haven't posted for a while because I've been doing so poorly. My current weight loss is 19 pounds. I gained three weeks in a row. I was definitely disheartened.
Then I did two things.
First, I realized that I've got to work the program. I just have to. There are lots of other things I'd like to improve about myself but I've decided that weight loss gets top priority. For me, working the program means tracking; as much as I like the idea of Simply Filling Technique (still a lousy name compared to Core), I can't seem to stick to it right now.
After last Saturday's meeting, I knew I just had to knuckle down and start tracking. I've often started the week with the paper tracker but never finished a week with it. I'm rarely far from a computer so I'm tracking completely online with eTools. This is Day 3 of my New Resolve and I've stuck to the program so far.
The second thing I did was to realize that I needed to treat my Lyme disease. I have chronic Lyme, which some physicians say doesn't exist. Well, maybe it doesn't exist for some people but it definitely exists for me. I continue to test positive for Lyme and I still have symptoms despite five years of daily antibiotics.
About a year ago, I decided I'd had it with all the pills and the rigorous schedule (four times a day, evenly spaced, no dairy or minerals taken within two hours either side of taking the antibiotics . . . you get the idea). So I stopped.
I'd been thinking for a while that I needed to do a short course of antibiotics to clear my system. Last week I finally finished up all the annual reporting projects I had on my plate and decided to take antibiotics for four days. It had occurred to me that I couldn't stick with the program because those nasty Lyme critters were interfering with my willpower.
When one takes antibiotics, many of the bugs die at once and release toxins that make one sicker than before. It's called a herx (short for Jarisch-Herxheimer reaction, first observed with syphilis patients) and it's miserable.
After four days of aches and pains and brain fog, I'm feeling much better. And I'm having no trouble sticking to my New Resolve!
Monday, March 16, 2009
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Doldrums
Lost 1.4 pounds this week for a total loss of 22 pounds, but this comes after a 2-pound gain last week, so there's not much to celebrate.
At today's meeting, a woman shared that she's going through a really hard time right now and just getting to the meeting was a major chore because she's gaining weight. She sees the numbers on the scale increasing and she despairs of stopping the gain. She, like so many of us, has gained and lost and gained and lost our entire lives. She knows she's under a lot of stress and depressed and found it really hard to hear people describe their successes during "sharing time."
Aside: Does "sharing time" have a formal name? Every meeting starts with it and people tend to focus on their successes instead of their failures. I'm blabby so I have something to say almost every week, gain or lose. I usually start thinking about my weight-loss week on Friday (sometimes earlier) and what I've noticed about my week. For me, sharing something reinforces the observations I've made. I'm often the first one to speak because I'm not shy about speaking in public and I know that someone needs to prime the pump. Okay, back to this week's meeting.
That resulted in a fabulous discussion that included a hug for her, tears for others, and a recognition for me (that I voiced, of course) that I show up every week because regardless of how I'm doing, I know WW is a safe place to talk about what's going on and I'll hear at least one thing at the weekly meeting that resonates with me.
By the way, I always weigh in because
I'm close to a major weight milestone for me (and have been for months) and I know I need to make a commitment to reaching that weight as a goal. The days are longer now, which always improves my mood, so maybe I can get serious about how to stay on plan long enough to see the scale hit the magic number.
At today's meeting, a woman shared that she's going through a really hard time right now and just getting to the meeting was a major chore because she's gaining weight. She sees the numbers on the scale increasing and she despairs of stopping the gain. She, like so many of us, has gained and lost and gained and lost our entire lives. She knows she's under a lot of stress and depressed and found it really hard to hear people describe their successes during "sharing time."
Aside: Does "sharing time" have a formal name? Every meeting starts with it and people tend to focus on their successes instead of their failures. I'm blabby so I have something to say almost every week, gain or lose. I usually start thinking about my weight-loss week on Friday (sometimes earlier) and what I've noticed about my week. For me, sharing something reinforces the observations I've made. I'm often the first one to speak because I'm not shy about speaking in public and I know that someone needs to prime the pump. Okay, back to this week's meeting.
That resulted in a fabulous discussion that included a hug for her, tears for others, and a recognition for me (that I voiced, of course) that I show up every week because regardless of how I'm doing, I know WW is a safe place to talk about what's going on and I'll hear at least one thing at the weekly meeting that resonates with me.
By the way, I always weigh in because
- weigh-ins are between the weigher and me, no one else;
- no one is ever judgmental about gains or losses (although I've heard from a woman who attended years ago that her weight and gain/loss was loudly proclaimed to others -- can that really have been company policy?), and;
- the feedback makes a difference. If I gain, it always gives me pause and affects how I shop and plan for the next week.
I'm close to a major weight milestone for me (and have been for months) and I know I need to make a commitment to reaching that weight as a goal. The days are longer now, which always improves my mood, so maybe I can get serious about how to stay on plan long enough to see the scale hit the magic number.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Back on Track?
I lost 1.4 pounds this week and 2.4 pounds the week before, for a total loss of 22.6 pounds. I've erased that nasty three-pound gain from two weeks ago.
I was delighted to lose weight two weeks in a row. And everyone knew it! How could they not? I let out a big YES! with a fist pump. I heard someone say, "That must be good." No shrinking violet, I, when it comes to a success.
I haven't lost weight two weeks in a row since the end of November. I haven't been at this weight since before Christmas. I'd like to think that I've finally adjusted to Momentum, but I know better than to be cocky.
In fact, I think I started to have trouble the week I noticed that I'd lost weight six weeks in a row. Oh yeah, I definitely was cocky then.
Last week's meeting was run by a woman who'd lost 190 pounds. 190! She wasn't much of a leader but she was inspirational. She's probably new at it -- last week may well have been her first meeting -- and I always feel for new leaders who come to our meeting. Kaitlyn is an excellent leader, my current favorite. She's funny, informative, and motivational; definitely a tough act to follow.
But, last week's leader asked people to commit to a goal for the coming week. I committed to not engaging in comfort eating in the evening after some very, very long days I had last week. And I stuck to it. So, new-leader-whose-name-I-can't-remember, thank you!
I was delighted to lose weight two weeks in a row. And everyone knew it! How could they not? I let out a big YES! with a fist pump. I heard someone say, "That must be good." No shrinking violet, I, when it comes to a success.
I haven't lost weight two weeks in a row since the end of November. I haven't been at this weight since before Christmas. I'd like to think that I've finally adjusted to Momentum, but I know better than to be cocky.
In fact, I think I started to have trouble the week I noticed that I'd lost weight six weeks in a row. Oh yeah, I definitely was cocky then.
Last week's meeting was run by a woman who'd lost 190 pounds. 190! She wasn't much of a leader but she was inspirational. She's probably new at it -- last week may well have been her first meeting -- and I always feel for new leaders who come to our meeting. Kaitlyn is an excellent leader, my current favorite. She's funny, informative, and motivational; definitely a tough act to follow.
But, last week's leader asked people to commit to a goal for the coming week. I committed to not engaging in comfort eating in the evening after some very, very long days I had last week. And I stuck to it. So, new-leader-whose-name-I-can't-remember, thank you!
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Disappointed But Not (Very) Discouraged
I gained 3 pounds this week for a total loss of 18.8 pounds. Phooey. I've said phooey a lot recently.
My leader asked if my three-pound gain was worth it. No, it wasn't. I didn't stick exclusively to Core and I ate too much.
I had an interior dialogue with myself about what's going on. I haven't solved it but I do have some insight. Despite my best intentions to track, I just can't stay with it. Some of my resistance is to the measuring that's involved, some of it is to the detail that's required, and some of it is probably depression.
Still, after continuing my dialogue, I fired up SparkPeople and estimated what I'd had for breakfast. I was horrified to discover that I'd had close to 600 calories for breakfast.
Prevention magazine has been promoting a book a couple of its editors wrote, called The Flat Belly Diet. In the February 2009 issue they interview people who've lost weight and inches on the diet. The pitch is that the diet enables you to lose weight from your belly, which is bad for your heart. Looking closer at the diet, I realized that people lost weight primarily because they were limited to 1600 calories a day. If they are healthier it's because they lost weight and because the diet encourages healthy eating.
The diet requires four meals of 400 calories per day. That's what got me to thinking about calories. I might be able to follow that kind of eating plan. I've tried to eat a snack mid-morning and another snack mid-afternoon, but I rarely eat the mid-morning snack. I'm busy at work or full from breakfast.
I first went to Nutrition Data, which is a helpful site but required to much effort to get a quick read on my calorie intake. SparkPeople has a nice display that makes it easy to see calories, carbohydrates, fat, and protein. I suspect that I don't eat enough protein, so this is a good way to find out.
Nutrition Data and SparkPeople, by the way, are both free.
Weight Watchers' Points Tracker works well for tracking but it doesn't provide any nutritional analysis. And my experience at SparkPeople made me realize that Points don't have meaning for me the way calories do.
I hope this insight is meaningful and translates into controlled eating on my part. I'm going to plan my meals for the work week and count calories. At some point (no pun intended), I'll translate those meals to Points.
The weekly Weight Watchers meeting is essential for me. I'm struggling mightily right now and if I weren't going to the meetings I'd have said to hell with it and given up on losing weight. I wouldn't have given this much thought to why I'm struggling so.
My leader asked if my three-pound gain was worth it. No, it wasn't. I didn't stick exclusively to Core and I ate too much.
I had an interior dialogue with myself about what's going on. I haven't solved it but I do have some insight. Despite my best intentions to track, I just can't stay with it. Some of my resistance is to the measuring that's involved, some of it is to the detail that's required, and some of it is probably depression.
Still, after continuing my dialogue, I fired up SparkPeople and estimated what I'd had for breakfast. I was horrified to discover that I'd had close to 600 calories for breakfast.
Prevention magazine has been promoting a book a couple of its editors wrote, called The Flat Belly Diet. In the February 2009 issue they interview people who've lost weight and inches on the diet. The pitch is that the diet enables you to lose weight from your belly, which is bad for your heart. Looking closer at the diet, I realized that people lost weight primarily because they were limited to 1600 calories a day. If they are healthier it's because they lost weight and because the diet encourages healthy eating.
The diet requires four meals of 400 calories per day. That's what got me to thinking about calories. I might be able to follow that kind of eating plan. I've tried to eat a snack mid-morning and another snack mid-afternoon, but I rarely eat the mid-morning snack. I'm busy at work or full from breakfast.
I first went to Nutrition Data, which is a helpful site but required to much effort to get a quick read on my calorie intake. SparkPeople has a nice display that makes it easy to see calories, carbohydrates, fat, and protein. I suspect that I don't eat enough protein, so this is a good way to find out.
Nutrition Data and SparkPeople, by the way, are both free.
Weight Watchers' Points Tracker works well for tracking but it doesn't provide any nutritional analysis. And my experience at SparkPeople made me realize that Points don't have meaning for me the way calories do.
I hope this insight is meaningful and translates into controlled eating on my part. I'm going to plan my meals for the work week and count calories. At some point (no pun intended), I'll translate those meals to Points.
The weekly Weight Watchers meeting is essential for me. I'm struggling mightily right now and if I weren't going to the meetings I'd have said to hell with it and given up on losing weight. I wouldn't have given this much thought to why I'm struggling so.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Back to Core, er, Simply Filling
Two weeks ago I gained 1.2 pounds, for a total loss of 21.2 pounds. I was distraught. Well, that might be overstating it, but I was definitely upset by it. I had tracked, although I had not counted Points.
So I resolved to knuckle down and record everything I ate and count all the Points and measure and weigh everything, etc. That lasted for three days.
I hated it. I started to feel like my entire life revolved around what I was going to eat, when I was going to eat, how much I was going to eat, how I was going to prepare it, and recording what I ate. Arrrrgh!
Back to Core for me, which I prefer as a name over Simply Filling because 1) it's shorter, and 2) it reminds me that it's a whole-foods diet.
I get what Momentum is trying to do for people. And I like the greater flexibility in food choices that it provides (Flex was a good name but Momentum is OK, too). But my food choices lead me back to Filling Foods almost exclusively.
I rarely eat meat. I rarely eat processed foods. I almost never eat fast food. My meals consist of grains, vegetables, and fruits. I get dairy from fat-free yogurt and the occasional slice of cheese. Protein comes from dairy, legumes, and grains. I stay away from sweets. I sweeten with Splenda (and artificial sweetener) or erythritol (a sugar alcohol), although I do cook with sugar, honey, maple syrup, or molasses now and then. Stevia is too bitter for my tastes.
Where I deviate from Simply Filling is that I allow myself 100% whole-grain breads, pasta, and crackers more often. And I don't track my Weekly Points Allowance. I am now more convinced than ever that I have to find a way to lose weight without tracking/journaling/writing things down!
This weekend I made a batch of slow cooker vegetarian baked beans. Yum! It's hard to abuse beans because they fill you up so quickly.
This week I lost .6 pounds for a total loss of 21.8 pounds. I still have a long way to go to start losing regularly and to get back to my highest total of 27.4 pounds lost . . . and then to continue losing.
I'm still committed to Weight Watchers and weekly meetings. Without them, I'd have given up by now and put all the weight (and more) back on.
So I resolved to knuckle down and record everything I ate and count all the Points and measure and weigh everything, etc. That lasted for three days.
I hated it. I started to feel like my entire life revolved around what I was going to eat, when I was going to eat, how much I was going to eat, how I was going to prepare it, and recording what I ate. Arrrrgh!
Back to Core for me, which I prefer as a name over Simply Filling because 1) it's shorter, and 2) it reminds me that it's a whole-foods diet.
I get what Momentum is trying to do for people. And I like the greater flexibility in food choices that it provides (Flex was a good name but Momentum is OK, too). But my food choices lead me back to Filling Foods almost exclusively.
I rarely eat meat. I rarely eat processed foods. I almost never eat fast food. My meals consist of grains, vegetables, and fruits. I get dairy from fat-free yogurt and the occasional slice of cheese. Protein comes from dairy, legumes, and grains. I stay away from sweets. I sweeten with Splenda (and artificial sweetener) or erythritol (a sugar alcohol), although I do cook with sugar, honey, maple syrup, or molasses now and then. Stevia is too bitter for my tastes.
Where I deviate from Simply Filling is that I allow myself 100% whole-grain breads, pasta, and crackers more often. And I don't track my Weekly Points Allowance. I am now more convinced than ever that I have to find a way to lose weight without tracking/journaling/writing things down!
This weekend I made a batch of slow cooker vegetarian baked beans. Yum! It's hard to abuse beans because they fill you up so quickly.
This week I lost .6 pounds for a total loss of 21.8 pounds. I still have a long way to go to start losing regularly and to get back to my highest total of 27.4 pounds lost . . . and then to continue losing.
I'm still committed to Weight Watchers and weekly meetings. Without them, I'd have given up by now and put all the weight (and more) back on.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
New Momentum?
As I'd hoped, I did not gain weight last week. I lost .8 pounds for a total loss of 22.4 pounds. My current goal is to claw my way back to a 25-pound total loss.
Writing everything down made me more aware of what I was eating, as well as how much. I've started to measure again, although not everything. As I suspected, I need another week of tracking without Points before I can start working with Points again.
An interesting result of tracking has been my realization that I'm ready to give up Core. I think that a good part of my poor eating was due to depriving myself of too many things that I enjoy. I'm back to accepting that I cannot eat sugary foods; last night at a potluck I had a second helping of macaroni and cheese rather than indulge in dessert. In today's newspaper there was a coupon for Laughing Cow cheese, something I'd given up for Core; I clipped the coupon and put Laughing Cow back on my list of OK foods.
Maybe Momentum will be work for me after all.
Writing everything down made me more aware of what I was eating, as well as how much. I've started to measure again, although not everything. As I suspected, I need another week of tracking without Points before I can start working with Points again.
An interesting result of tracking has been my realization that I'm ready to give up Core. I think that a good part of my poor eating was due to depriving myself of too many things that I enjoy. I'm back to accepting that I cannot eat sugary foods; last night at a potluck I had a second helping of macaroni and cheese rather than indulge in dessert. In today's newspaper there was a coupon for Laughing Cow cheese, something I'd given up for Core; I clipped the coupon and put Laughing Cow back on my list of OK foods.
Maybe Momentum will be work for me after all.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Phooey
I've gone from plateau to weight gain. Something about Momentum did me in. In the past two weeks I've gained 4.4 pounds, for a total loss of 21.6 pounds.
Momentum threw me for a loop, so my group leader gave me the Week 6 booklet, which re-introduces Core under its new name, "Simply Filling." It didn't help. I was completely undone. Clearly, I'm suffering diet fatigue or winter blues or sloth -- maybe all three.
Between Christmas Day and my weigh in, I gave my next step a lot of thought. Because I obviously couldn't get back on Core, I needed to do something else. I knew that if I tried to count and measure and weigh, I'd fail once again. Remembering what I'd read recently about willpower, I decided that rather than trying to make a wholesale change all at once, I'd set my sights lower and start with a small change.
This week I've been tracking. I have not calculated or recorded any Points; I have not recorded my satisfaction level; I have not checked off any of the Good Health Guidelines. I have carried my Tracker with me and written down what I've eaten. I have also paid attention to how full I feel throughout the day.
I got on the scales once this week and was surprised at how much I weighed. It wasn't a pleasant surprise, but afterward I realized that I hadn't weighed myself at home during these awful weeks of weight gain, so the scale was just reflecting what I already knew.
It doesn't matter what the scale reads on Saturday, although I think I'll probably have stayed the same. It hasn't been easy to track everything so I'll probably spend at least one more week tracking before I start counting Points.
This has been discouraging and disappointing and upsetting. And when I get really down on myself I recall that I haven't missed a meeting since I joined Weight Watchers; if there's one thing I've learned in all this time it's to tough it out and continue attending meetings. That thought actually cheers me because I know that as long as I attend weekly, I'll eventually find my way back to an eating plan I can live with and that will enable me to lose weight.
Until then, though, it's going to be a long slog through deep snow.
Momentum threw me for a loop, so my group leader gave me the Week 6 booklet, which re-introduces Core under its new name, "Simply Filling." It didn't help. I was completely undone. Clearly, I'm suffering diet fatigue or winter blues or sloth -- maybe all three.
Between Christmas Day and my weigh in, I gave my next step a lot of thought. Because I obviously couldn't get back on Core, I needed to do something else. I knew that if I tried to count and measure and weigh, I'd fail once again. Remembering what I'd read recently about willpower, I decided that rather than trying to make a wholesale change all at once, I'd set my sights lower and start with a small change.
This week I've been tracking. I have not calculated or recorded any Points; I have not recorded my satisfaction level; I have not checked off any of the Good Health Guidelines. I have carried my Tracker with me and written down what I've eaten. I have also paid attention to how full I feel throughout the day.
I got on the scales once this week and was surprised at how much I weighed. It wasn't a pleasant surprise, but afterward I realized that I hadn't weighed myself at home during these awful weeks of weight gain, so the scale was just reflecting what I already knew.
It doesn't matter what the scale reads on Saturday, although I think I'll probably have stayed the same. It hasn't been easy to track everything so I'll probably spend at least one more week tracking before I start counting Points.
This has been discouraging and disappointing and upsetting. And when I get really down on myself I recall that I haven't missed a meeting since I joined Weight Watchers; if there's one thing I've learned in all this time it's to tough it out and continue attending meetings. That thought actually cheers me because I know that as long as I attend weekly, I'll eventually find my way back to an eating plan I can live with and that will enable me to lose weight.
Until then, though, it's going to be a long slog through deep snow.
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