I truly am crazy-busy. I can't even think too much about all I have to do because it might paralyze me. And it's not going to let up any time soon.
After that awful 6.6-pound gain, I got back on plan and have lost it all and a bit more. I'm now back to where I was on April 11. Whew!
The irony of being crazy-busy, having fibromyalgia, and trying to lose weight is this: Being crazy-busy is exhausting. Exhaustion make fibro worse. Worse fibro means lots of time in my recliner. Lots of time in my recliner makes me hungry. Why? Because being exhausted and having a fibro flare means I'm not good for much of anything. Reading is difficult. Concentration is almost impossible. But eating? Oh yeah, baby! That's very possible!
So now I've seen losses two weeks in a row. I recall when I had losses six weeks in a row. I'm sorry I noticed it because I started the up-down-up-down pattern I'm in now after I noticed it. I might be on track for longer this time, though. I'm reconciled to tracking. Despite my exhaustion I'm thinking (only thinking, mind you) about how to move more.
And I'm thinking about how I sabotage myself.
One way I sabotage myself is with dinner. By the time I get home from work or rouse myself on the weekend to prepare dinner, I want what's easy but not necessarily what's tasty. Food that isn't satisfying tempts me to "cheat," i.e., eat quantities of foods I don't really enjoy.
Knowing that dinner is a problem, I've been looking for recipes that I can either make ahead or are very quick to prepare. Because I prefer to eat vegetarian, I'm currently experimenting with tofu. Just the experimentation keeps me interested and less likely to glom down fat and sugar.
I know better than to believe that I've finally found my weight-loss "handle," that doorknob that opens the way to effortless weight loss. But I've maintained my record of never missing a Weight Watchers meeting since I joined and I still believe I'm better off now than before WW. That qualifies as "on track," don't you think?
Monday, May 18, 2009
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Struggling
Last week was a truly awful week for weight loss. I gained 6.6 pounds. My total loss is down to 14.6 pounds. Obviously, I haven't overcome the mental obstacle I referred to in my last post. And at least I had the sense in that post to acknowledge I might not have gotten fully on board with the program.
Since I last posted, I've been up and down -- mostly up. This past week, though, was the worst. As I said at the meeting this morning, I did everything wrong. OK, so maybe I didn't do every single thing wrong, but once you read through my litany of mis-steps, you'll agree with me.
I tracked last Saturday and Sunday. So far, so good.
Then I launched into a work week of preparing to implement a new computer system. Our project manager flew in for the week and I was determined to learn as much as possible while he was here. Right. Little did I know that instead he would spend most of the week sucking knowledge out of my brain.
We met for breakfast on Monday then went out to lunch every day. We indulged in Italian sandwiches, diner food, pub fare, and fried seafood. I think I've fulfilled my potato quota for the next five years.
Lunch out every day should not equate to a six-pound gain, even as poorly as I ate. Four pounds, maybe, but not six.
The compounding factors were that I arrived at lunch famished every day because I hadn't snacked as I usually do. During a typical work day, I'll eat an apple or orange if I get hungry mid-morning or mid-afternoon. I was concentrating so intently that I didn't notice my hunger until I was well past hungry.
The project manager, clearly a sugar hound, plunked down large bags of chocolate for us to share (he also indulged in Pepsi a couple of times a day). I never succumbed to the chocolate temptation, so at least I did one thing right.
We worked late every night. That meant I never ate a decent dinner because I was too tired to cook. And it also meant that I didn't get enough sleep because I stayed up late to let my brain cool down.
And I got even less exercise than usual.
Despite all this and the 6.6-pound gain, I'm not discouraged. Struggling? Yes. Discouraged? No. I know why I gained 6.6 pounds this week. I also know what it takes to get it off and get back on track. I fully expect to lose most, if not all, of the gain in the next week.
Since I last posted, I've been up and down -- mostly up. This past week, though, was the worst. As I said at the meeting this morning, I did everything wrong. OK, so maybe I didn't do every single thing wrong, but once you read through my litany of mis-steps, you'll agree with me.
I tracked last Saturday and Sunday. So far, so good.
Then I launched into a work week of preparing to implement a new computer system. Our project manager flew in for the week and I was determined to learn as much as possible while he was here. Right. Little did I know that instead he would spend most of the week sucking knowledge out of my brain.
We met for breakfast on Monday then went out to lunch every day. We indulged in Italian sandwiches, diner food, pub fare, and fried seafood. I think I've fulfilled my potato quota for the next five years.
Lunch out every day should not equate to a six-pound gain, even as poorly as I ate. Four pounds, maybe, but not six.
The compounding factors were that I arrived at lunch famished every day because I hadn't snacked as I usually do. During a typical work day, I'll eat an apple or orange if I get hungry mid-morning or mid-afternoon. I was concentrating so intently that I didn't notice my hunger until I was well past hungry.
The project manager, clearly a sugar hound, plunked down large bags of chocolate for us to share (he also indulged in Pepsi a couple of times a day). I never succumbed to the chocolate temptation, so at least I did one thing right.
We worked late every night. That meant I never ate a decent dinner because I was too tired to cook. And it also meant that I didn't get enough sleep because I stayed up late to let my brain cool down.
And I got even less exercise than usual.
Despite all this and the 6.6-pound gain, I'm not discouraged. Struggling? Yes. Discouraged? No. I know why I gained 6.6 pounds this week. I also know what it takes to get it off and get back on track. I fully expect to lose most, if not all, of the gain in the next week.
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