My favorite leader, Karen, has been enamored of Uno, the beagle, since he won best in show at the Westminster Dog Show in February. She has talked about "being the beagle" off and on since then.
I'm about to celebrate a birthday -- my double-nickel to be exact -- and a very good friend of mine recognized my birthday by giving me a small turtle. It's heavy for its size, which makes it just perfect for dropping into a pocket to fiddle with or holding while on the phone with a computer user (I do tech support, among other things, for a living) who is having trouble with a Word document. When I opened this marvelous little package, my friend told me to "be the turtle."
I knew immediately what she meant: Take your time, be meticulous about sorting out health issues, don't race ahead like a hare, take care. Then she went on to tell me that there's a lot of mythology and symbolism connected with turtles. Here's one I particularly like: Turtles seem to possess an enviable and god-like resistance to aging, and so they came to symbolize longevity. That's particularly appropriate for a birthday, yes?
I treasure my turtle. I told my friend that I like it especially because she's so good at selecting "fidgets" or items that are good for moving around in one's hands. Here comes the tie-in to Weight Watchers: Karen talks a lot about anchors. Anchors are nothing more than fidgets that remind you to eat wisely.
Now I have a fidget/anchor that reminds me to "be the turtle" in many ways: with weight loss, health issues and, most importantly, friendship.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Saturday, July 26, 2008
40 Points of Food Feeling Without the Food!
This past week, I got 40 points of food feeling without the food doing something I've never done before: I had my hair dyed. It was great fun!
I anticipated the event for weeks and didn't tell anyone about it. Part of the deliciousness of the anticipation was thinking about how people would react when they saw my hair.
Um, ah, ahem, no one noticed. That's because I had the hair underneath my hair dyed red. It's a gorgeous shade of red that goes really well with my green eyes and real hair color. My plan, though, was for the red to show much more than it does. I finally had to show people what I was (unintentionally) hiding. If I hadn't started having vertigo, which tends to put things into perspective, I'd have gone back for an "adjustment."
Not one to be subdued (thank you, fibromyalgia, I can't think of the word I want here), I'm planning to experiment with clips so I can put my hair up to ensure that people notice!
I anticipated the event for weeks and didn't tell anyone about it. Part of the deliciousness of the anticipation was thinking about how people would react when they saw my hair.
Um, ah, ahem, no one noticed. That's because I had the hair underneath my hair dyed red. It's a gorgeous shade of red that goes really well with my green eyes and real hair color. My plan, though, was for the red to show much more than it does. I finally had to show people what I was (unintentionally) hiding. If I hadn't started having vertigo, which tends to put things into perspective, I'd have gone back for an "adjustment."
Not one to be subdued (thank you, fibromyalgia, I can't think of the word I want here), I'm planning to experiment with clips so I can put my hair up to ensure that people notice!
M-o-l-a-s-s-e-s
What's as slow as molasses? This is not a trick question or even a mildly-clever riddle. It's my weight loss, of course.
I gained weight this week, so I'm now at a total loss of 20.8 pounds.
If I sound discouraged, I'm not. I had a tough week. On Wednesday, I had such a severe bout of vertigo that I had to hang onto my chair to keep from falling out of it. I suffered two more bouts that day, although neither required that I grab hold of something. I suffered another severe bout of vertigo the next day. That afternoon I saw my nurse practitioner, who is scheduling me for an MRI. (By the way, nurse practitioners in Maine provide almost all the care a physician does and can prescribe medication -- my NP is awesome: experienced, smart, funny, and easy to talk to).
As a result, I'm not exactly relaxed because I don't know when the next bout might hit -- or even if it will hit. I'm not obsessing over it but I'm definitely "on call" because whenever I sense the slightest shift in my equilibrium, I become hyper-vigilant until the sensation passes. Uneasiness is not conducive to calorie counting.
As always, the way to get back on track is to rededicate myself to the process, which means tracking, tracking, tracking. And tracking, for me, always means planning because I can't stay within my points unless I plan ahead.
Good thing I love to do research!
I gained weight this week, so I'm now at a total loss of 20.8 pounds.
If I sound discouraged, I'm not. I had a tough week. On Wednesday, I had such a severe bout of vertigo that I had to hang onto my chair to keep from falling out of it. I suffered two more bouts that day, although neither required that I grab hold of something. I suffered another severe bout of vertigo the next day. That afternoon I saw my nurse practitioner, who is scheduling me for an MRI. (By the way, nurse practitioners in Maine provide almost all the care a physician does and can prescribe medication -- my NP is awesome: experienced, smart, funny, and easy to talk to).
As a result, I'm not exactly relaxed because I don't know when the next bout might hit -- or even if it will hit. I'm not obsessing over it but I'm definitely "on call" because whenever I sense the slightest shift in my equilibrium, I become hyper-vigilant until the sensation passes. Uneasiness is not conducive to calorie counting.
As always, the way to get back on track is to rededicate myself to the process, which means tracking, tracking, tracking. And tracking, for me, always means planning because I can't stay within my points unless I plan ahead.
Good thing I love to do research!
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Wedding Bell Blues
Yesterday after my WW's meeting I decided to go shopping for a dress to wear to a wedding in two weeks. I haven't been to a wedding in ages, so I don't already own something suitable that fits. As I watched in horror while the weight piled on after I got sick, I vowed not to buy new clothes unless I absolutely had to. I shopped at Goodwill and the Salvation Army for quite a while until the selection got really weak; I have no idea why it changed. I was punishing myself for having gained weight and I was fully aware of it. As people who know me will tell you, I adopted, and still wear, a uniform of polo shirts & khakis in the summer and turtlenecks & jeans in the winter.
Since joining WW I've been trying to cut myself some slack. I've never enjoyed shopping so it took a lot of rehearsal to prepare myself to shop for a dress. I worked my way through the mall to Lane Bryant, which has great bras but has been a disappointment otherwise. Yesterday's visit was especially disappointing because all the clothes were so dark. It was depressing. I wasn't shopping for a bra, so I left empty-handed.
At JC Penney I found a skirt and blouse, both on sale, that will be OK for the wedding. I knew I was pushing my luck by wanting to buy a summer dress in late July. I don't need to go on that particular rant because I'm hardly the first woman to complain about not being able to buy summer clothes during the summer.
There isn't a lot of good news in this post because I didn't enjoy myself at all. I detested looking at myself in the mirror. I detested having to try on women's sizes. I detested seeing something I liked and not being able to find it in anything close to a size that would fit me.
When I interviewed in July of 1998 at the place I still work, I wore a skirt and and blouse that I really liked. It made me feel good and I knew it showed how tall and slender I was. Two years later, I was diagnosed with the first of the many illnesses that have slowed me down and piled on the pounds I'm now fighting to take off. I'm not as tall now and, obviously, far from slender, but I still have that skirt and blouse and fully intend to wear them comfortably again some day.
Since joining WW I've been trying to cut myself some slack. I've never enjoyed shopping so it took a lot of rehearsal to prepare myself to shop for a dress. I worked my way through the mall to Lane Bryant, which has great bras but has been a disappointment otherwise. Yesterday's visit was especially disappointing because all the clothes were so dark. It was depressing. I wasn't shopping for a bra, so I left empty-handed.
At JC Penney I found a skirt and blouse, both on sale, that will be OK for the wedding. I knew I was pushing my luck by wanting to buy a summer dress in late July. I don't need to go on that particular rant because I'm hardly the first woman to complain about not being able to buy summer clothes during the summer.
There isn't a lot of good news in this post because I didn't enjoy myself at all. I detested looking at myself in the mirror. I detested having to try on women's sizes. I detested seeing something I liked and not being able to find it in anything close to a size that would fit me.
When I interviewed in July of 1998 at the place I still work, I wore a skirt and and blouse that I really liked. It made me feel good and I knew it showed how tall and slender I was. Two years later, I was diagnosed with the first of the many illnesses that have slowed me down and piled on the pounds I'm now fighting to take off. I'm not as tall now and, obviously, far from slender, but I still have that skirt and blouse and fully intend to wear them comfortably again some day.
Math Phobia?
Aarrrggghhh! I lost 1.4 pounds this week for a total loss of 22.4.
There's a "receptionist" (I hate that term) at my WW's meeting who always has trouble with subtraction. Three weeks ago she struck again and recorded that I'd gain 2 pounds when I had actually gained 3. I've learned to check her math but didn't that week. I finally caught the error today when I was recording my weight in the multiple places I track it.
Sigh. I thought that despite gaining some weight I'd managed to stay below my 10%, but for a couple of weeks I didn't. Not that it matters -- no wait, it does, or I wouldn't be writing about it. It took me a long time to get below 10% and once I got there I thought I'd be able to stay there.
Last week I was on vacation at my dad's house. I neither gained nor lost, which is always a victory after a week with my dad. We go out to breakfast every morning when I visit. I always eat too much when I eat breakfast out, so I have to eat less the rest of the day when I do it. That's hard to do when I'm just hanging out at my dad's condo all day, as we did all week this time. Dad is 82 and starting to slow down.
The way I didn't gain weight was to pay attention to whether I was actually hungry. Without a routine to provide cues, I was better at judging my hunger. I was also more aware of assessing my hunger. Small progress, but progress just the same.
There's a "receptionist" (I hate that term) at my WW's meeting who always has trouble with subtraction. Three weeks ago she struck again and recorded that I'd gain 2 pounds when I had actually gained 3. I've learned to check her math but didn't that week. I finally caught the error today when I was recording my weight in the multiple places I track it.
Sigh. I thought that despite gaining some weight I'd managed to stay below my 10%, but for a couple of weeks I didn't. Not that it matters -- no wait, it does, or I wouldn't be writing about it. It took me a long time to get below 10% and once I got there I thought I'd be able to stay there.
Last week I was on vacation at my dad's house. I neither gained nor lost, which is always a victory after a week with my dad. We go out to breakfast every morning when I visit. I always eat too much when I eat breakfast out, so I have to eat less the rest of the day when I do it. That's hard to do when I'm just hanging out at my dad's condo all day, as we did all week this time. Dad is 82 and starting to slow down.
The way I didn't gain weight was to pay attention to whether I was actually hungry. Without a routine to provide cues, I was better at judging my hunger. I was also more aware of assessing my hunger. Small progress, but progress just the same.
Saturday, July 5, 2008
Independence from What?
I gained two pounds this week, for a total of 22 pounds lost. I'm confident I gained all two pounds yesterday. Clearly, I haven't gained my independence from overeating on Independence Day.
I did try to eat reasonably, but the cauliflower salad, bean salad, and potato salad were all too much to resist. And I succumbed to the smell of grilled meat and ate a cheeseburger. In penance, I passed on the brownies (that I had made), although by the time I served the brownies, I wasn't much interested in them.
This menu would not have added two pounds to my weight if I hadn't also overeaten before the cookout. I'm still in the clutches of serious starchy-carb cravings, so when I decided that I should make sure I wasn't hungry when I arrived at the cookout, I went for the pretzels. Pretzels and fat-free (but not calorie-free) cream cheese.
For breakfast, I'd had a ciabatta roll with (fat-free-but-not-calorie-free) cream cheese and pretzels. Mid-day I'd had beans and tomatoes -- low calorie, high fiber, and not satisfying for long enough.
I'd gotten on the scale yesterday morning, so I knew if I could behave myself, I might show a loss for the week. Alas, when I got on the scale this morning before WW, I knew I'd be facing a gain.
The good news in this, of course, is that I can get the two pounds off pretty quickly because some of it must be water-weight gain from all the starchy carbs and salt.
Will I? Actually, yeah, I think I will. I'm about to head out to Michigan to spend a week with Dad; the last time I was out there I managed to finally get him to understand that I really, truly didn't want to go to any breakfast buffets because I'm powerless before them and always eat too much. We avoided the breakfast buffets, I weighed in and went to a meeting out there, and fared pretty well (at least that's how I remember it!).
I did try to eat reasonably, but the cauliflower salad, bean salad, and potato salad were all too much to resist. And I succumbed to the smell of grilled meat and ate a cheeseburger. In penance, I passed on the brownies (that I had made), although by the time I served the brownies, I wasn't much interested in them.
This menu would not have added two pounds to my weight if I hadn't also overeaten before the cookout. I'm still in the clutches of serious starchy-carb cravings, so when I decided that I should make sure I wasn't hungry when I arrived at the cookout, I went for the pretzels. Pretzels and fat-free (but not calorie-free) cream cheese.
For breakfast, I'd had a ciabatta roll with (fat-free-but-not-calorie-free) cream cheese and pretzels. Mid-day I'd had beans and tomatoes -- low calorie, high fiber, and not satisfying for long enough.
I'd gotten on the scale yesterday morning, so I knew if I could behave myself, I might show a loss for the week. Alas, when I got on the scale this morning before WW, I knew I'd be facing a gain.
The good news in this, of course, is that I can get the two pounds off pretty quickly because some of it must be water-weight gain from all the starchy carbs and salt.
Will I? Actually, yeah, I think I will. I'm about to head out to Michigan to spend a week with Dad; the last time I was out there I managed to finally get him to understand that I really, truly didn't want to go to any breakfast buffets because I'm powerless before them and always eat too much. We avoided the breakfast buffets, I weighed in and went to a meeting out there, and fared pretty well (at least that's how I remember it!).
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