Progress?

This week I gained 1.2 pounds, so my loss is back down to 20 pounds, but I think I'm making some progress.

I knew I would have a weight gain because I succumbed to carb cravings last weekend. Once I gave in to them last Saturday, I was a goner for the rest of the weekend. I did manage to control the cravings during the work week, but they never really subsided.

Carb cravings were once a sign of hormonal changes for me, although I've always loved my starchy carbs. I'm well into perimenopause, though, so one might think that they'd start to fade. Yeah, right.

Last night I had to stay up late (for me) to continue saliva collection I'd been doing throughout the week. Then I had to wake-up-but-not-get-up at 2:30 a.m. for the final collection, which in my grogginess took a full half-hour. I was a wreck this morning (still am, but at least I'm marginally coherent after a nap).

I got moving earlier than usual this morning because I'd had such a lousy night's sleep after the collection, so I stopped by Target after doing the laundry and before my WW meeting. After selecting some wine glasses that were relatively inexpensive (fibromyalgia has been really hard on my glassware) and would fit in my dishwasher, I cruised the snack aisles before realizing that -- of course! -- I was there for Fritos! I'd been smelling them in my memory. I long ago gave up Fritos as an indulgence because they're too salty and have too much fat.

I snatched up the smallest bag I could find and went off to my WW meeting.

And it was there that I finally figured out part of what might be going on. After limping through the early part of the week, on Thursday I learned that I've developed arthritis in my left hip and in my spine. I probably have it in my right hip, too, but not as badly. My grandmother had arthritis. My mother had arthritis. My mother also had a weight problem, an underactive thyroid, chronic fatigue, depression, and (probably) fibromyalgia.

At today's meeting, we talked about how we indulge ourselves. It was during the discussion that it dawned on me that I was craving Fritos because they were a comfort food from my childhood. Fritos and Squirt were a favorite treat of mine. (Squirt is a citrus-y soda pop.)

I came home, weighed the Fritos I ate, then entered them into eTools instead of taking the bag to my favorite chair and dipping in while I read the Saturday paper. That's progress.